Why are we afraid of sadness
We masquerade happiness because
Sadness isn’t pretty isn’t satisfying
We celebrate some kinds of suffering
In violent films, horror, doom scrolling
The chemicals in our brain that react
To fear and comedy are very similar
If I tell myself to be happy will I be
If I am happy what am I telling myself?
We are all searching for ways to be happy
In a world that fosters disappointment
We are actors in our own suffering
Silently playing the parts assigned to us
Choosing security over excitement
Pain over passion
It’s not good for your mind to go to that place
The further you go the harder it is to come out
The more you say the less you’ll wish to know
But life is a gift
Because our bodies resist the urge to die
If I would have known how you would make my heart tremble
If I would have known how you would make my heart ache
If I would have seen the future at stake
If I would have seen the memories we’d make
Only to come crashing down
Leaving me aimless untethered and lost
Desperately fitting broken pieces together
That never quite fit the way they used to
I would have done everything I could
To never know you
What can you say when there’s nothing to do
What can you do when there’s nothing to see
What can you see when there’s nowhere to go
Where can you go when there’s nowhere to stay
Where can you stay when there’s nowhere to live
Where can you live when there’s nothing to eat
What can you eat when there’s no one to speak
What can you speak when there’s no one to hear
Blinded by my lips
I wanted you to see me
But you knew from the start
I didn’t know I was alone
I weaved the fabric of our souls
I wanted you to stay
But I kept finding holes
That would be covered by day
We are disjointed bodies
Connected at the seam
Singing distant memories
Of what we used to dream
I have songs in my head
That remind me of dark nights
Watching the street lights dance
Feeling safe enough to fall asleep
“Your face will be the reason I smile”
Warmth in the cold
On a long drive back home
-After Maxwell
