My stomach is empty

But I can’t eat

I’m sitting on a couch 

The same couch where one message from you once caused my hands to shake has me shaking again

The same couch where I finished my musical

Where I kissed a mistake 

Wrote emails and gossiped and found crumbs 

My stomach is empty 

But I can’t eat 

“Once I’m done with people they’re gone” 

You’re gone but your name has never come up more

I’m thinking of you hoping to rewrite your name into acceptance 

Or suppressing every thought to forget your presence 

Maybe if I get rid of all your stuff I’ll feel full 

if I go to Blue Llama if I go to Pinball Pete’s maybe I’ll be comfortable in chaos 

My stomach is empty but I cannot eat 

I can’t watch anything I’ve never seen 

I cry when I can’t ge a refund for a cake at coldstone

I sleep with my back aching under LED lights at christmas time

When the pit passes 

I find a few moments where I’m freed

My stomach is empty and I see through the haze

I finally eat 

Before one message sets me off again

aSoSS 05 | Finals

I’d be stressed about my grade but it’s too much energy to be stressed so I just accept it.

Union Basement, 1:30PM, 12/8/2023

worry is a tranquilizer. it paralyzes you under your covers, on your phone, in your dreams. it seeps into your bones and dulls your tongue. what’s the point? the two hours are going to pass whether you like it or not. the storm does not wait for you to board up your windows. hunker down and persist, or perish. or maybe you won’t. the hurricane will tickle the roof above your head, a gentle brush with the back of a scarred palm. let this be a warning. you will be ready next time, you think — if there is a next time…


It was just the two of us and a bunch of books. In the Hatcher basement! I was like “where are we going? Are you going to murder me?”

Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 12:00PM, 11/28/2023

what if we were to soak up information like a sponge? the logarithms of knowledge are beyond comprehension. even with all of hatcher tucked away, what else lies beyond? the madness of multiplicity: in seeking understanding in one subject, you invariably uncover another… these are the consequences of grasping at infinities we will never see. an expanding edge of space. the horizon, and nothing beyond. who could live with this? a murder would be the easy way out. history defeats itself.


I spent a lot of time crying over question 1, so if anything goes wrong… that’s probably where it started.

Panda Express, 1:00PM, 12/8/2023

the symbiotic relationship between the student and the exam should be carefully examined. there is a certain kind of irony in learning everything but the information: the highlighted color (blue), the study location (panera, but only on mondays), the back of your shoe rubbing against a bouncing heel — if anything, is this not a more finely attuned case of studying? perhaps if you committed to watching espn while transcribing notes you would remember the transcriptions and not the fantasy numbers, or the missed flags, or the post-game interviews. yet this fails as well. a strange phenomenon!

if all else fails — in case of emergency — wipe your tears on question 1 and turn to question 2.

Wolverine Stew: Winter Bakery

A fresh crop of withered leaves

Emerge from the unbroken snow

Letting the sunlight engulf my cracking face

It is cold, it is warm, I wish I could stay

Being at peace smells like

Sundae cherries, dirt, and soap

Now, waiting here among thoughts of

Empty chairs and amethyst stones and

Bread I baked last Saturday, long ago

Never tasting quite as sweet as

I’ve heard others say

But I’m happy they enjoy it

It’s been a while since the snow

There is a fog covering the

Lights of the apartment buildings

Floating like makeshift stars in the rain

And there is a warmth in the white fairy lights

And the band playing in the market

And the folks that shuffle close together

In and out of Main Street

There is a song tonight

And I am happy to join it

aSoSS 04 | Snow

This is precipitation but up here you know it will be snow. It consistently does that, do you see the colors?

North Quad Dining Hall, 11:00AM, 11/19/2023

the spirals swirl across the screen. they are always moving, mutating, out of formation like a line of ants trekking down from the 44th degree parallel. what do they call it now? a new version? an update? nothing is as pervasive as the thought of change, even when the seasons changes every year. on the last sunny day people line the streets of the diag and smile wistfully. what a day! a day filled with weak sunshine, a goddess recovering from a cold — or perhaps about to succumb to one.


I see all the pictures of people posting the snow. They are just the out-of-state kids.

Pierpont Commons Basement, 3:00PM, 11/27/2023

in a different world, the sun shines every day of the year. further north it lies behind a wall of rain. the snow is soft, gentle — for now. the snakes lay their eggs; come back in january and fight off their young. when the earth crumbles the children will sleep soundly in their beds. when the sky falls the children will stick their tongues out and press angels into the rubble.

the day after the big game the clouds begin to spit. perhaps the heavens put money on the buckeyes?


It doesn’t matter, I’m always cold! Remember the first time we went fratting? I was freezing!

That was the first week of August!

Yeah, I know. I wore that sweatshirt because it was so cold!

Sigma Chi, 9:00PM, 11/29/2023

the night is a blanket in only the metaphorical sense. the early night is warmer than the early morning, as if the earth were a giant bowl that was heated in a cosmic microwave. clouds and oceans and fractured ozone fractals decorate the outer edges, cooling and warming at whim. the contents are scalding, in more ways than one. you look up the videos of the smooth, perfectly spherical aluminum foil balls. my skin pricks up in danger. one inch ahead, one press of a button, and the world turns black. but for whom?

Capturing Campus: December

Ethereal
In my chest
a raw, flippant beating
taken but breathing
in your smell
frost and rose red
a chill on my skin
just looking at you
petals to pupils
dilate, and my diaphragm
folds at the bend
the arch of your spine
like a branch
your arms enveloping
the moment encased
I wish to stay
forever or longer
with you