Capturing Campus: February

Narcissus circa 2024

I loved someone
so deceptively tangible
so close, almost touching
our breath intermingling
between pauses and thought
I try to survive
the pain in my chest
the aching empty cavity
I loved someone
so deeply
so closely
it killed me

Please reach out if you or someone you know is in immediate danger or experiencing suicidal thoughts. You are not alone.

911

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

CAPS After Hours Urgent Support: 734-764-8312

UM Psychiatric Emergency Services: 734.996.4747

UM Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness: 734.936.3333

Department of Public Safety and Security: 734.763.1131

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1.800.273.TALK (1.800.273.8255)

The Trevor Lifeline: 1.866.488.7386

Crisis Text Line:  741741

Capturing Campus: February

I am yours and we are dancing

we levitate on Neptune
across its frozen oceans
dancing beneath stars
that burst into jewels
clinging to your dress, twirling,
forming moons from nothing
and comets at your fingertips
you glide along the sky
so beautiful I find myself
adrift in your orbit
that pulls me whichever way
you will it
and I will find Saturn
to gift you his rings
but you deserve much more
and I will give you everything
because you give me love
like cosmic fireworks

Evolving Emotions: Love- Short Story

Painted with Lavender

 

You lay beside me beneath sheets painted with lavender. My chest quivers at your touch, delicate fingers navigating the curves and pitfalls felt by no one else. The sides of your mouth lift in that way that they do to make my body melt into yours. I’m in awe of you, of this moment. An array of purples and blues outline your silhouette. Flecks of stars glimmer against your skin. You graze my hands, held close to my chest. They intertwine, so close to the beating of my heart. I shudder, knowing you bear witness to all of me. 

 

We fit perfectly, shaped by cosmic intention. A finger reaches my cheek, gliding along my skin which is now yours. You were made for me, and I pray I was made for you. The warmth under the covers sends me fluttering. I only wish that you’ll stay, that this moment could endure forever. That part of me aches. It remembers those lonely nights under twilight. No stars atop skin or sunsets to fall into. The wind carried whispers, but they weren’t yours. Before I reached your eyes and felt your lips, I would imagine you lying here—your skin on mine. Our breath intermingled like it had always been that way. That aching was black and cold and clutched at my throat. It hurt to be. I longed for you, and I pray you did too.

 

I frolic in the mundane

late-night grocery hunts for instant mashed potatoes

movie nights inside because it’s dreary outside

walks in the park where we see the trees we’ve seen one hundred times over

looking up at the stars, I still don’t know the name of

you outstretch to point, but I just look at you 

in the firelight

 

It’s amazing how time slips away, however dreadful it feels in the pit of my stomach. I’ve watched your smile crease and your eyes grow wings. They are lighter than they once were, not dull but dimming. But when I look closer, there’s something unchanged. You are still you and I am still me. You still laugh at my jokes. (Badly executed with the best intentions.) My ears still perk at the melody you dance to in the kitchen. The stars that glittered still shine the same way. You are mine, and I am yours, and I will cherish you like I do every day.

 

When the time comes, I won’t say goodbye. It would hurt too much. To admit that you’re gone is to cease any possibility, any flicker in my heart, that there is more to be had. There are so many words unspoken, so many songs unsung, so many dances not done,

so many late nights,

early mornings 

without you.

 

This bed is too empty, and the hole you left grows larger, a force upon sore ribs. I breathe in, but you aren’t in my lungs. Where has the lavender gone? 

Evolving Emotions: Love- Poetry

Last Goodbye

She was evening nights sprinkled with fireflies. She was bouquets of every shade. She was long farewells, dandelion wishes, and key lime pie. Her heart beating atop my chest settled my breath into a steady patter every Sunday morning when the birds were chirping and her hands would hold mine, delicate and powerful, carrying me into the day with jittery excitement and beaming optimism and just when the world felt like it would fall into pieces I watched her wave with a smile plastered on her beautiful face knowing I was hers and she was mine from now until the end. She was warm embraces beneath a woven blanked. She was long road trips below a bright sun. She was mine and I was hers until our last goodbye.

Evolving Emotions: Love- Photography

These are old photos I created around Valentine’s Day. At the time, the first photo reminded me of the sixties or eighties. (I’m still not sure which.) I’ve never been able to recreate the hairstyle, but I’m glad I captured it! I hope you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day full of whatever makes you happy!

new butterflies
everlasting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evolving Emotions: Love

So much of the art put out into the world is about art. But what can it tell us?

I found this quote to be absolutely beautiful. It’s a tragedy to be singed and scarred. It’s another to wonder if things could’ve been different if given another chance.
PLEASE DON’T SETTLE! That’s all I’m going to say on that one. :^)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You make up one half of a relationship and should therefore be equally valued within it. Your opinions, ideas, knowledge, and consent matter. If they are reluctant to hear it or act with intentional disregard, that isn’t love.