A New Normal

As I walked this morning from the Engineering Campus to the Music School, the snow was falling so thickly that I could barely see the people slipping and sliding five feet in front of me. One hour later, the thundersnow had subsided, but was replaced with sleet wetting the pathways preparing to freeze overnight. Yesterday, the sun was shining, it was a heavenly 40 degrees and I didn’t feel compelled to zip up my coat as I walked to my car.

Anyone who has lived in Michigan longer than a few years has become accustomed to the volatile weather, and immune to the emotional whiplash which it can bring upon out-of-staters whose previous winters consisted of lows of 58 degrees. In the turbulence of this weather, I have found a sense of calm and normalcy.

On January 23 I wrote a blog post titled: Undeniably a Type A. After I had posted the blog I received a message asking me two questions which up until this point I have neglected to answer because I wanted to write a thoughtful response. The questions were as follows:

“1) When is it appropriate to draw the line: Not in the sense of when to call off the maneuver when handed an exceptionally challenging task (I think that one is obvious), but rather when does one accept ‘I am truly successful.’ I don’t think it is a trivial thing to simply be proud of your accomplishments without desire for more.

2) Are type A personalities born or grown?”

I will not pretend to have the answers to either question but will do my best to answer them in regard to my personal experience as best as I am able.

On the wall above my bed I have posters of famous opera singers, old ticket stubs and a few quotes which I have collected over the years. One of these quotes is from Martha Graham, an American modern dancer and choreographer who defined the genre. She said “No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”. In a rather serious conversation which I had in December, I was told by a friend that he feared that I will never be happy because the intense drive to success which I harbor will never allow me to be content. I partially agree with his concern, I agree that I will never be content instead I will to strive to accomplish more success than realistically is possible. This is primarily because I derive pleasure and happiness from the fight for success, and have found with contentment comes complacency. So to answer the first question, I personally will never accept “I am truly successful” because for me, the level of success which I seek is not humanly possible and I enjoy working toward this impossible goal.

I am a firm believer in nurture over nature, and so believe that Type As are grown rather than born. I believe that the Type A-ness which my siblings and I display comes from not the genes which we all share but the fact that in our household a new normal was set.

Just as I have become accustomed to Michigan weather changing every 10 minutes, I became accustomed to a standard of “normal” which is different from society’s collective normal. My brother played piano so naturally I played piano. My brother got good grades while playing football so I got good grades while playing softball. In high school I danced professionally, sang in the school musical, and played in the band so my sister did as well. In order to get everything done, we became type As because it was normal to be incredibly busy and expected that we succeed in all activities which we pursued.

In no way am I arguing that by being a Type A I will be happier or more successful than anyone else. For me, it is and always will be my normal. Just as 40 degree temperature swings are Michigan’s normal. Perhaps one day I will find a new normal, but until then I will continue in my Type A ways.