It’s one of those weeks, guys. The three weeks between Thanksgiving break and winter break are always hard—Thanksgiving break is only a tease, then suddenly you’re thrust back into an emotional warzone, final exams and final essays coming at you like grenades, or whatever better fits this war metaphor—but this is worse than usual. It’s only Tuesday, and I am so exhausted. I got four hours of sleep last night, and tonight was supposed to be my night of recovery, but it’s looking like I’m going to have to put that off for a couple more nights, because I have so much still to do tonight and tomorrow.
I won’t bore you too much with the details, but let me just say that I thought I had a lot more time than I did, then my WiFi abruptly stopped working and I spent most of my night fighting a losing battle to download complicated drivers and fix the problem. Riveting, I know. But to me, this simple, small conflict felt like a potentially world-ending one.
Tonight is the kind of night that makes you jaded about college. It’s one of those nights when you have to decide whether to prioritize your own mental health or your grades. It shouldn’t have to be one or the other, but the reality is that sometimes it is. Sometimes getting good grades means you don’t eat, or you don’t sleep, or you don’t have a social life, or you don’t consume any of the art you’ve been wanting to. (Tonight, I made the wrong choice and watched an episode of Jane the Virgin, thinking I had all the time in the world.)
I’m not sure exactly what my point is with this post, except to say that sometimes school is hard, and it sucks when it has to get in the way of the things you’re passionate about, because school is supposed to be about doing what you’re passionate about, isn’t it? Right now, my dream day would consist of ten or 11 hours of much-needed sleep, then a day to just catch up on TV and watch a movie and journal, because I’m way behind on journaling.
Sometimes, when I’m having an apocalyptic week or day like this one, I like to open up my journal and just write a short post to myself to pump myself up. Something reminding myself to calm down, reminding myself that when it comes down to it, whether I get a B+ or a C+ on tomorrow’s exam won’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
So let me do that right now: Ben, and anyone else out there who might be going through a similarly terrible week, it’s all going to be okay. It feels long right now, but in a few days—and, even more so, in a few weeks—you’ll be done with it all and you’ll be able to take a breath. The end is in sight; in the blink of an eye, you’ll have all the time you want to relax, binge-watch whatever TV you want, catch up on your 2016 movie list, and, oh yeah, start actually reading for fun again. You’ll have time to journal and explain all the things that have been going on, and you’ll be able to hang out with all your friends, or just be alone, if that’s what you want most.
Hang in there, everyone. This is hard for everyone.
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