“I only can see myself skating around the truth who I am,”
Self-discovery at college is as terrifying as it is liberating. I was not prepared for how difficult it would be to decide who I want my friends to be when I am not even sure who I want to be yet. After this month’s below-freezing temperatures and last week’s snowstorm, I can relate even more strongly to today’s song: Winter by Tori Amos.
“But I know… the ice is getting thin.”
Generally speaking, I am confident in myself and I like who I am. Even so, I’ve realized that recently I haven’t been as patient and forgiving with myself as I should be. Holding myself to a high standard is part of who I am. It is something that I think is great about me, but I realize that sometimes the standard I hold myself to is not realistic and I end up actually holding myself back.
“When you gonna make up your mind?”
Though I have been trying to figure myself out throughout my college experience so far, I have never been so confident in the people I have chosen to be my friends. Not only did I choose them, but they chose me back. We see potential in each other. They’re my supporters, my inspirations, and my confidants, as I am for them.
“When you gonna love you as much as I do?”
I will navigate this life of self-discovery with the help of my newfound friends. I will let go to the best of my ability and allow myself to grow without putting pressure on myself. I will embrace the uncertainty and the change and my decisions. Most importantly, I will be gentle with myself. This is a learning process, and I have no right to expect myself to be perfect. I am not ready to make every decision about who I want to be (nor should I be), but I am ready to make one decision. It is time for me to decide to love myself the way that I am loved by my family and friends.
“’Cause things are gonna change so fast.”
Listen to Winter here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw431cX0mgQ
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