The Poem That’s Getting Me Through Midterms

In the heat of midterm season, I’m thinking about Elizabeth Bishop’s poem One Art. As I procrastinate and study and go to events and feel the pulse of life racing madly everyday, I think about how I can’t get yesterday back, or the day before that, or today will pass and so will tomorrow. The passage of time feels like a kind of destruction, a loss, a sacrifice that I must helplessly participate in. And Bishop’s poem encapsulates this anxiety so eloquently and ironically in a poem; she writes:

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

It sneaks up on you, and it seems very profound in the beginning– initially, I thought the poem what about the burdens of materialism, or the issues with attaching yourself to human or tangible things (“door keys”, your “mother’s watch”, “three loved houses”). However, the poem progressively becomes more obsessive, spiraling into a chaotic frenzy of losing everything, of owning and loving and finding meaning in nothing:

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

To me, it becomes something of an existentialist plea for meaning– this author is saying, to some degree, whether she knows it or not, Nothing matters. And everything is fine, because nothing matters. And finally, she drops the huge bomb at us in the end, the absolute sarcastic remark that seems to be hiding a deep inner turmoil:

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

But this last paragraph reveals her true feelings. Bishop cares about what happens.

The poet can’t really fully will herself to believe that nothing matters because if she did, she wouldn’t be feeling anything– but she does feel something. It doesn’t matter that she uses a “joking voice, a gesture” she loves, or that she painfully admonishes herself to “(Write it!)”– screw that! She cares about what happens, and even if everything in her life is lost, if everything and everyone that she loves is destroyed, she is silently, quietly counteracting that by creating this poem— something she can control. I cannot help but feel like there is particular double weight to the word “art” here– something that helps her lose and destroy, perhaps, but more importantly, helps her create.

In the midst of academic frenzy and the crazy on-goings of everyday life, I’m sometimes forced to forfeit and run on autopilot– wake up, do the stuff, scrabble to bed to get my seven hours, and repeat. But I care about what happens, I put love and passion into the work that I do, and that’s what matters.

This poem is a shout into the void, as all poems are, but beautiful– a declaration that I was here. I existed. And I matter. And perhaps that’s something we need to remember this time of year.

 

(Read Bishop’s incredible poem here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47536/one-art)

The Comfort of Public Readings

Last Friday, my friend Karen invited me to an open mic night for anyone who wanted to share their writing—poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, or even songs. Karen’s the editor-in-chief of Xylem, an independent, student-run literary magazine on campus, so some of the staff shared their work, but most of the readers were just people in the audience who decided to share.

Almost every reading I’ve been invited to I’ve gone to, but it’s a weird thing, because I don’t really love them. Okay, to be specific, I don’t love listening to people read. I’m not always the best auditory learner—my mind drifts, and I end up thinking about whatever’s going on in my life, in the same way your mind wanders during a particularly boring lecture. It makes it harder that I’m not super good at understanding poetry; sometimes I can work out the meaning (either the dramatic narrative or the emotional symbolism) if I sit down and concentrate hard and reread the poem a few times, but it’s almost impossible for me to figure it out when it’s being read aloud.

Even if I could carefully pay attention to every single person reading, I’m very bad at telling when poetry is actually good. Every student reading I go to, I hear poems that I sense are pretty good, since there are some decent images and cool words being used, but I have no idea what they actually mean. I know the point of poetry isn’t to figure out what it all ‘means,’ per se, but it still can be frustrating when you feel like you’re not getting much out of a poem aside from the sense that it sounds kind of interesting.

There were some stories and poems I really liked on Friday, when I was able to fully engage. One girl shared a ‘letter to all the guys she kissed,’ which involved a lot of wordplay with numbers. It was pretty hilarious, and well-read, and everyone was laughing with every line she read. One guy sheepishly read a short piece about the couch he owns, with all its mysterious and questionable stains—also very funny.

I thought a lot that night about why I continue to go to events like these when I’m only fitfully entertained and engaged in the reading itself. Well, for one, I go for my friends, like Karen. I want to support them, to hear them read their writing or see what they’ve dedicated their time to outside of class.

But I go mostly for the community. When I sat there in that room—the cozy back room on the second floor of Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tearoom—I felt, momentarily, at peace. It came at the end of a long week dealing with the results of Tuesday’s presidential election, and for a moment I wanted to just stop talking and thinking about it all and just sit and be with people who I felt understood me—even if I didn’t actually know most of them. One essay mentioned the election, but most of the pieces were about other things. When you’re dealing with what we all dealt with this week, poems about regular old teenage heartbreak are downright comfort food.

Even when an open mic night doesn’t come in the middle of a politically cataclysmic week, though, it provides comfort. There’s something about looking around and seeing English majors you vaguely know—that girl who talked a little too much in my Shakespeare class, that girl whose writing I was always jealous of in my creative writing class, those five people I recognize from The Michigan Daily. Even the people you don’t recognize can make you feel at home; some of the students sharing their work were STEM majors, and there was something endearing about seeing them timidly prefacing their reading: “I’ve never done this before,” or “I haven’t really looked this over yet,” or “Sorry, I’m kind of nervous.”

I looked out the window while one guy read, noticing the lights of the Ann Arbor News building across the street, the cars flitting by on the street below. I wondered if I’d have a similar, but larger-scale view a year from now, maybe living in New York and going to a reading like this one, with more people I didn’t know but who felt like my people. I wondered if I’d go to any Trump-related protests in Manhattan, if I’d have a group of liberal, revolutionary-type friends like me who wrote poetry and drank tea in cable knit sweaters and clapped and cheered for one another, even when the poems weren’t that good.

Maybe it was too romantic of an idea. Maybe we could all use a little romance right now.

 

Check out Xylem Literary Magazine here. The above photo was taken from Xylem’s Facebook page.

Why You Should Be Celebrating National Poetry Month

Official logo; Academy of American Poets

It’s April 3! Which means that we’re exactly three days into National Poetry Month! I participated for the first time in 2015 and enjoyed it so much that I’ve been waiting all of March for the clock to turn 12:00am on April 1st. Anytime I think of a particularly good phrase or a poetic image, I scribble it in my notebook or on the Notes section of my phone for later use. People often ask me, “Isn’t it a burden- having to write a poem everyday on top of your homework and social life?” And I honestly thought it was going to be. But it wasn’t at all. In fact, the poem became the high point of the day. After collecting “data” all day, I could make sense of it – make art out of it – and produce something that I could share with my friends and family. (The community of National Poetry Month participants on social media is incredible).

But before I get too far ahead of myself, you may be asking what National Poetry Month actually is? According to poets.org, this thirty day celebration was created by the Academy of American Poets in 1996. Inspired by Black History Month and Women’s History Month, National Poetry Month is intended to spark the appreciation, curiosity, reading, creating, and teaching of poetry for thirty whole days of April.

The goals of National Poetry Month are:

  • highlight the extraordinary legacy and ongoing achievement of American poets
  • encourage the reading of poems
  • assist teachers in bringing poetry into their classrooms
  • increase the attention paid to poetry by national and local media
  • encourage increased publication and distribution of poetry books, and
  • encourage support for poets and poetry. (via Poets.org)

~ ~ ~

People throw out the advice that you should “write every day.” And it’s true. Just like tennis or swimming or knitting, the more you practice, the better you become. But National Poetry Month is only 30 days, you say. What happens when the thirty days are over? I personally do not continue to write a poem a day after April 30. For me, it’s the undaunting focus of only thirty days that motivates me and results in the most productivity. Thirty days is just enough time where the excitement is still high. Exhaustion hasn’t set in yet. I leave wanting more.

And what do you have at the end of those 30 days? Well, you’ll have some really good poems. You’ll have ones you scratch your head and think proudly, “Did I do that?  That should be in a book!” You will have ones you can’t believe you let out of your head and shame them back into oblivion. But most of all, the poems are mini time capsules of the life lived during those thirty days. Almost like a flashbulb memory, you’ll remember the specific details of that day that tipped your consciousness into writing it. It could be an overheard conversation, a magazine advertisement, a question that crossed your mind, what you had for lunch, an event you attended. Everything and anything is fodder for a poem. One of my good friends pairs her poems with a photograph taken on that day. What better way of annotating a month-long photo album?

Ultimately, poetry is a celebration of the little things – the flowers, the footprints, the ladybug, the crumbs on your face – as well as discussion starters about bigger things like inequality, abuse, death and love. Poetry is a way of expressing your viewpoint or confronting topics you don’t quite understand. It’s a way of crafting sonically beautiful thoughts, or sometimes, it’s just a way of preserving a moment you want to capture forever. Poetry can be as simple or complicated as you want it to be. It’s flexible and raw, in form and spirit. Poetry is for everyone.

And that’s something to celebrate.

Not interested in the writing aspect of National Poetry Month? No worries! There are tons of ways you can still be involved!

-You can also sign up for Poem-a-Day to receive free daily poems by email all year long.

-Memorize your favorite poem.

-Attend an upcoming poetry reading at Literati Bookstore

-Start a poetry reading group.

-Review the many forms of poetry. 

-Watch this video about poets talking about poetry

-Or snuggle in with popcorn, a blanket, and the Dead Poets Society

Image via mentalfloss

Go on … sound your barbaric yawp …it’s National Poetry Month!

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. I Lo…

Image via speechfoyosoul.com

A love letter is one of the best pieces of paper you’ll ever hold in your hand. It’s more personal than a clothing accessory, more enduring than an edible sweet or a five-second Snapchat, more secret than a wink and a cheery clink. These written declarations of affection have been touching hearts since Ancient Egypt. But times indeed have changed – keyboards have replaced quills, and ‘thee’ got thrown out for ‘u’. The love letter now teeters on the cliff of extinction. If I could, I would make a campaign badge: SAVE THE LOVE LETTER! Help protect this rare species this Valentine’s Day by penning one of your very own to anyone you want to share your words with: whether it’s your best friend, your grandma, your SO, or your neighbor. A letter says that you’ve taken the time to think and write thoughtfully and reflectively on your love for this being that you share the planet and your life with. And who doesn’t love getting mail??

Not sure where to start? Here are some tips to write the most heartfelt and genuine letter without being too cheesy, cliché, or Hallmark-y.

  1. Think ink. A real paper letter gives the recipient the sheer pleasure of opening up an envelope. It allows you to be a little cheeky and hide it where they least expect it. Your one-of-a-kind handwriting technique flavors the text in a way that no one else could accomplish. Plus, why risk the chance of an overzealous spellcheck  and spam filters? You want to be sure that the exact letter you write is seen by the person you love.
  2. Address to Impress. “Dear” is so overrated. This isn’t an email to your professor (at least I hope not!!). Make your greeting unique and get your reader smiling from the get-go. “Dearest Duck,” said Lady to Lord Byron. “My dear little lunatic,” wrote the actress Juliette Drouet to Victor Hugo. When in doubt, get a little wacky, get a little retro, get a little silly.
  3. Flavor it with details. Make sure to flag all the quirky things you like about your reader. Let them know you didn’t copy the default template for “How-To Write a Love Letter.” Think both physically (“the lines on your face that crinkle when you smile”) and mentally (“how you’ve literally memorized the whole Tim the Enchanter scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail”). Let glimpses into your own daily life color your paper: “As I sit here writing to you in the Diag, people must be wondering why I’m smiling so much.” Recollect the first time you met, your favorite shared experience together, ponder about the next thing you want to do together to knock something off your bucket lists.
  4. Avoid clichés. That’s right. If you’re being paid to write cards for Hallmark, then by all means, bring on the cheesiness. But, for real? None of this “two souls entwined” crap. Gush too much and the game is over. Find the perfect balance between authentic feeling and hearts-for-eyes emoji.
  5. Intertextualize. Perhaps you have really tiny handwriting and you’re worried that you don’t have enough to say to appropriately fill the entire paper (at least two-thirds down the page is adequate). Think of your reader’s favorite movie, song, book, or play. There isn’t one out there that doesn’t include some romantic love. It will show that you really have paid attention to what they love. And gives your brain a moment’s rest, but still packs all the same punch. Alternatively, you can…
  6. Include a poem. But not a “how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Everyone knows that. Instead try something a little more obscure to add to the uniqueness. Try Frank O’Hara’s ‘Animals’ or Pablo Neruda’s ‘I Do Not Love You‘ or Simon Armitage’s “You’re Beautiful.”

7. PG-13, please! Remember these letters are a kind of artifact. When you pass, you never know who will find them. And you don’t want to win a posthumous Bad Sex (Writing) Award, do you? So let’s keep it clean please, and let E.L. James do all the dirty work.

8. Sincerely… “Believe in me” (Juliette to Victor again) is heartstopping. Henry VIII’s “No more for fear of annoying you” to Anne Boleyn is awkwardly endearing. Dump the dreary “Yours truly” for something a little more creative.

9. Handle with Care. Send love letters only to those you can trust with them. Remember, these words are fragments of your soul. Mark the envelope as “FRAGILAY.” Likewise, treat any letters you’re so lucky to receive with kindness. Keep these paper relics – from past flings and present flames – for yourself and your mental scrapbook. Now that’s so much more than …

Image via people.com

P.S.  Interested in reading famous people’s love letters? Check out: http://thoughtcatalog.com/rachel-hodin/2014/01/the-16-most-beautifully-touching-love-letters-from-famous-writers-and-artists/.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Merr(e.e.) Little Tr(e.e.)

my holiday gift to you: a celebration of [little tree] by e.e. cummings

Image via University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

little tree

little silent Christmas tree

you are so little

you are more like a flower

 

who found you in the green forest

and were you very sorry to come away?

see            i will comfort you

because you smell so sweetly

 

i will kiss your sweet bark

and hug you safe and tight

just as your mother would,

only don’t be afraid

 

look             the spangles

that sleep all the year in a dark box

dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,

the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,

 

put up your little arms

and i’ll give them all to you to hold

every finger shall have its ring

and there won’t be a single place dark or unhappy

 

then when you’re quite dressed

you’ll stand in the window for everyone to see

and how they’ll stare!

oh but you’ll be very proud

 

and my little sister and i will take hands

and looking up at our beautiful tree

we’ll dance and sing

“Noel Noel”

Image via people.com

As you find comfort within the sprigs of this picture poem, among the hugs and warmth of human kindness, let me raise a cup of cheer to you all.

Love thy trees. Love thy neighbors. Love thyselves and thy spirits. Love thy love.

There is nothing on this earth that couldn’t benefit from feeling your touch, your awareness, your acknowledgment of their place here in relation to yours. I wish you all happiness on this winter break, and may you all dance and sing in your own little ways.

Theory of Moving On

Theory of Moving On

By Erika Bell

The warm

chocolate-filled,

wine colored,

flowered,

date nights

are among me again.

Three months ago I thrived in this time.

I twisted my curly hair,

knotted it around my polished ring finger

and you rubbed my knee

sending soft shots of confirmation through my veins.

Though, I am here again.

Not here, where we were.

Somewhere new.

I look across the table and

you’re not scratching your scruff

and talking about the impending doom of the world

and I’m not staring into your glossy hazel eyes

as you wolf down that spinach dip.

I look into a dark brown set of eyes now.

He talks of working out.

There’s no scruff to scratch.

He eats his Greek salad with a fork

and

a

knife.

The bedazzled night is above our heads

like a giant headlight on my heart.