I want you to say something
Say something
Say something
That’s going to make it all better
I want you to write again
Text me again and tell me
Something
Something that’s going to make it all better
I want you to say something
Say something that’s going to fix something that
I don’t know how to
I tell you I want to talk
You tell me I’m not talking
You’re talking and I don’t know what to say
If you could write me
You’d write wrong
Right before you
Say something I’ve said
How could you
Could you know-how
You could wait
Wait till you can
But then
You’d be too early
Early morning
I see you sleeping
Slowly breathing
A smile slipped
Across your face
But who could talk
While tangled
One night
I dreamt of a void
When touched, dark blue ripples
ricocheted outward
pulsating on my fingertips.
Flat, alive, and just wide enough
For me to step through.
Opaque ground
Sprawled out
Blanketed
A Blue forest.
I stepped
Around ocotillos
Weaved through
Joshua Trees
And listened
To the buzzing of bees.
Forest fades
And buzzes turn into voices
Singing of freedom
From fear
Their hope
Echoing and elaborating
In variations
The cries of their loved ones
Dead
Sounds a monody.
In the void
I find myself
In a battle royale with my thoughts
Wondering
When it would be best
To emerge
Dripping with cold sweat under a winter coat
My laptop is the train
Ticking, lifeless, from sticky fingers
My scarf is the train
Saving the seat next to me from butt sweat
My suitcase is the train
Searching for closure in a jostled enclosure
My hair is the train
Musty against my face to keep me warm
The train, such a stain to bring me home
You will get there
If you send an email to her
To connect with him
You will get there
If you go to this workshop
And talk to him
Tell him about your work
Ask a good question
You will get there
If you reach out to him
After the session
You will get there
If you stay connected with them
You will get there
If you post it
You will get there
If you tell people about
Your work
You will get there
If you speak
You will get there
You will get there
You will get there
You will get
You will get
You will get
You will
Presences are unannounced in the dark.
Even more so in the fog
A blur of beings rushes by
Without ever crossing my eye
Each step is a careful one
Each breath, hesitant
For I am subject to the misty blindfold
Cloaked
I embark.
In a transition
A surge of events passes me by
What I could do
I can’t.
What I wanted
I can’t have.
I don’t see them
I didn’t see them
If only by my volition.
They move in my view for a moment
So fleeting
They depart
Without thought
Without recognition
Without realizing
Helpless I am in the fog
For I am a proponent.
There is a strange relief
I am concealed
Shrouded in mysterious droplets
They cast a hold on me
Around my every curve
I am hidden from the world
Away from the mind’s conception and belief.
Who I am
Whom I cherish
What I am capable of
What ineptitudes I lock away
The experiences I carry
The soul embedded within
A perfect bubble
A precious dam.
A thinning
A receding
A panic
A terror
A grief
A mourning
A spinning.
Fog withdraws
Visions clear
Fear resides
In the cavity once hidden
Now in full display
Pleading for a pause.
The whole world stares anew
